Joke, Joke, Joke
Since I had my first email address, I have been receiving emails from friends, colleagues, relatives and of course the never-say-die spammers. Among the emails I enjoy most are jokes and those having funny pictures or videos. These are the type of emails I rarely delete. They come in various flavors but I categorize them only as naughty or wholesome. Needless to say, I have accumulated quite a few.
I’m sure most of you who are reading this right now have received such types of emails. And perhaps, some of the jokes I’ve received have also been sent to you. The nice thing about it is that, even if you have received the same joke before, it still nice to read them again.
Anyway, enough of the intro. What I’m going to do is to start sharing the jokes, funny pictures and videos that I have been receiving. For a start, I will share three jokes. Hope you enjoy them.
JAPANESE STUDENT IN AN AMERICAN CLASSROOM
It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history:
Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death?’
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.
“Patrick Henry, 1775.”
She said. “Very good!” Who said ‘Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”
Again, no response except from Suzuki. “Abraham Lincoln, 1863″, said Suzuki.
The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about our history than you do. She heard a loud whisper: “F**k the Japs”
“Who said that?” she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982″
At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke [vomit]” The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”
Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991″
Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!” Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
“Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, “[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001.” (The teacher fainted.)
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
“Oh shit, we’re f**ked!” and Suzuki said, “Americans,… in Iraq 2004!”
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An old man married a young girl. On wedding night
He showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl : Ooh.. darling! 5 times?
Old man : No dear, choose which one you prefer to start.
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Man 1 : My wife is obsessed with cars. while
asleep, she holds my bird & say 1st gear, 2nd gear
Man 2 : My wife is worst, she puts my bird inside
her and say "Full Tank" pls.
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Question : What is the closest thing similar to a
woman's period?
Answer : Your salary, it comes once a month lasts
about 5-7 days and if it doenst come means you are
in big trouble.
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A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a
bank. The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is
fake"."Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute,
"I have been ... raped".
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Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all
you need is a good screw to fix it.
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Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like
the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb".
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a
doctor and he has already cured me of that illness that I used
to have every month!"
SUNDAY QUICKIE
Bill and Linda decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday
afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to
send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the
neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation. “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said.
“An ambulance just drove by.” A few moments passed.
“Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out, “Matt’s riding
a new bike and the Coopers are having sex.”
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father asked.
“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too,” his son replied.
